Should Mom and Dad Move in with Me or into a Care Facility?

Jasmine Phu

August 14, 2015

Being a caregiver comes with many difficult decisions. Perhaps one of the hardest is whether your loved one should move in with you or into a care facility. This decision can come with many emotions and bumps along the way, so take some time to consider the issue from all sides.

Do you have time to care for them?

While you may be very willing to have Mom or Dad come live with you, your schedule may make the decision for you, especially if you work full-time. They may require special care for a condition or rely on you for transportation to and from doctor appointments during the day.

While you can certainly try to rearrange your schedule to accommodate their care, it may not always be possible, and that’s okay. A care facility or hiring in-home help may be your best options.

How will your decision impact your family?

If you’re thinking of having Mom or Dad move in, it’s important to make this decision with all members of your family in mind, too.

Moving a parent into your home will have an impact on everyone that lives there — from your spouse to your children. Be sure to have a few candid family meetings on what they should expect, allow them to voice their concerns, and brainstorm together on possible solutions to those concerns.

In addition to your immediate family, you should also talk to your siblings. By having their input at the outset, you can avoid issues and hurt feelings later on. You should also work together to decide what kind of financial help everyone is willing to provide if you make the decision to place your parents in an elder care facility.

Can you renovate your home to accommodate your loved one?

Even if your parent is in good health now, that can change over time. If their health or level of mobility changes, this may also mean you may need to make changes to your home or consider moving them to a place where they will receive care that can accommodate any special needs they may have.

Home renovations can be costly, but if you have equity, you may be able to refinance your home to make the repairs needed to ensure your loved one can be cared for at home with your family. You may also be eligible for government assistance if you are making aging in place home modifications for an older loved one.

If you live in a house that has more than one floor, the bottom floor will need to be remodeled to allow a bedroom and bathroom. Bath facilities may also need to be updated to allow for wheelchair access and/or a walk-in tub that allows easy access and grab bars or a shower chair to prevent slips and falls.

In addition to remodeling your home, there are also monthly expenses that come with caring for aging parents. If your parent lives with you, you may be responsible for taking Mom or Dad to various appointments if they do not drive, and you’ll also be adding their grocery bill to your own.

What are your parents’ wishes?


If you haven’t had a conversation with your parents about how they want to spend their sunset years, now is the time to do so. This discussion should also include a conversation about their financial resources and how they envision themselves living over the next several years.

Find out how they feel about moving in with you or a care facility. There are a wide range of care facilities available to older adults; assisted living facilities can be a great fit for older adults who need round-the-clock care. There are also many senior independent living communities offer a place for older adults to live and socialize with those in their own age bracket. The decision truly depends upon their needs and wishes.

Deciding whether to move Mom or Dad into your home or a care facility will have a major impact on the next phase of your life. Be sure to carefully weigh all your options to make the right choice for you and your loved one.


Articles you might be interested in:

How To Care For Parents Despite Geographic Distance

Charging Elderly Parents Rent – Right or Wrong?

Caregivers: How to Get Some “You” Time



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