Video Transcript
[0:00] Welcome to Caregiver SOS by Bay Alarm Medical. My name is Haley Burress. I’m a caregiving expert here to talk about the ugly side of caregiving that no one wants to talk about — the most frustrating and challenging parts of caring for an aging family member, and how to get through it.
[0:24] Here’s a great question about a common financial concern: “My mom will not let me help her out with finances. I just want to make sure she’s paying her bills on time and not spending money on frivolous things or getting scammed. She gets really defensive when I talk about it. How can I let her know that I just want to help?”
[0:44] Many older adults hold on to financial autonomy as long as possible, and for good reason. It’s a sign of independence. They’ve been spending money on what they want to for decades, so it can feel intrusive when an adult child wants to start getting involved. However, it can be important to have that second check in place, especially if your loved one is vulnerable to a scam or facing cognitive decline.
[1:02] You can be honest with your mom by letting her know that you trust her, but you’d like to talk about getting involved more just to make sure she’s safe and her finances are organized. You can ask if you can just take a quick look with her sitting beside you. Another suggestion is to set up a joint account for paying bills only, so that you can take that responsibility off her plate should something ever happen.
[1:29] If your mom is living with dementia or another condition where cognitive decline is at play, you can begin escalating the conversation via her elder law attorney and/or financial adviser. A financial POA, or Power of Attorney designation, will kick in here, especially if your mom can no longer make reasonable decisions.
[1:50] If you’ve experienced this, share your story in the comments — we read every one.
[2:05] And don’t forget to like and subscribe for more caregiving advice.
