Video Transcript
[0:00] Welcome to Caregiver SOS by Bay Alarm Medical.
[0:03] My name is Haley Burress. I’m a caregiving expert here to talk about the ugly side of caregiving that no one else talks about — the most frustrating and challenging parts of caring for an aging family member, and how to get through it.
[0:16] We are tackling a difficult subject with our question this time. Trigger warning for child abuse. Here’s our question: How can I care for my aging father when he was abusive, both physically and verbally, to me when I was younger? We were estranged until he became ill, and now it seems that everyone assumes I will step in and help him out.
[0:38] It’s important to note that you don’t have to care for, help, or support anyone whom you don’t want to. If your dad was abusive toward you and you don’t have a positive relationship with him, you do not have to become his caregiver. You get to set your own boundaries so that you can take care of your own mental, physical, and emotional health.
[1:00] Those boundaries can change as you decide — you’re in control here. For example, you might choose not to be involved with your dad’s life or care at all. That’s okay. Or you might decide that you can help out with tasks that don’t involve interacting with him directly. In that scenario, you might take care of ordering his groceries or medications, but not dropping them off or interacting with him at all.
[1:27] You must prioritize your own mental, physical, and emotional health. Work with a counselor to establish boundaries that work for you and re-evaluate those as needed.
[1:37] If your dad has designated you as power of attorney on legal documents and you do not want that responsibility, you can resign your duties. Work with your lawyer to complete the documents, or simply print the documents online and get them notarized.
[1:53] You have options and are not alone in this. Reach out and find the resources and support that will be best for your own mental health.
[2:03] Like and subscribe for more caregiving advice.
