Video Transcript
[0:00] Welcome to Caregiver SOS by Bay Alarm Medical.
[0:03] My name is Haley Burress. I’m a caregiving expert here to talk about the ugly side of caregiving that no one else talks about — the most frustrating and challenging parts of caring for an aging family member, and how to get through it.
[0:16] Here’s a question about caregiver feelings: I’ve been caring for my dad for a few years now. A lot of my friends and co-workers are also caring for aging loved ones, and we talk a lot about what it’s like. I’ve realized that no one talks about this bubbling anger I feel almost all of the time. But surely everyone is feeling mad about their situation, right? Or am I the abnormal one?
[0:45] If you’re feeling anger as a caregiver — whether it’s an all-the-time feeling or a sometimes feeling — you are certainly normal. Caregiving takes a lot of time, energy, and money. It can be exhausting and stressful when you’re already exhausted and stressed out from life in general. Anger is common. Talking about it, not so much.
[1:05] There’s a cloud of shame that surrounds family caregivers who want to talk about emotions they see as being bad. Family caregivers are conditioned to think they should be caregiving because they’re good sons and good daughters, or because their parents took care of them so they should return the favor.
[1:28] No one wants to admit they’re mad about spending their own money on food, prescriptions, and other necessities. No one wants to talk about how their marriage is taking a backseat because of caregiving duties, or how they’re barely holding it together at work because they’re trying to keep up with their aging parent’s increasing needs.
[1:53] But the ironic part is that the best way to cope with all this anger is to talk about it. Bottling it up or feeling ashamed of it only makes it worse and makes the caregiver feel more isolated. More isolation and shame can lead to more anger, which can sometimes lead to elder abuse in the long run.
[2:12] If you’re feeling angry, you’re normal. Talk about it with your partner or trusted friends — say it out loud. Make a consistent schedule of appointments with a therapist so you can talk about it more.
[2:26] Another healthy coping mechanism for anger specifically is exercise. Moving your body — whether it’s running around the block or lifting heavy weights — can help you burn energy and gain mental clarity while boosting your confidence.
[2:42] Talk about it. Move your body. Try these two coping skills consistently for a month and see how you feel.
[2:49] Like and subscribe for more caregiving advice.
