‘Tis the season for twinkle lights, family gatherings, and Aunt Shirley’s famous sweet potato pie. However, for family caregivers, it’s also the season for a lot of extra stress, fatigue, and anxiety. We’re here to take some of the guilt and responsibility you feel off your shoulders and remind you that any holiday where your loved one feels cared for and treasured is a win. You don’t need all the favorite holiday traditions and decorations to make your loved one’s holiday a special one.
Here are some of our favorite holiday hacks for family caregivers. We’re here to help you spread the holiday spirit without losing your patience or sacrificing any more sleep than you already do. Try a few of these and let yourself be open to the potential of a holiday that feels a little less busy but a lot more meaningful.
Keep Decorations Minimal
Whether you’re pulling out the Thanksgiving tablecloths and bunting or the giant pre-lit tree from the basement, now is the time to consciously choose to downsize your loved one’s decorations this year. Too many decorations can be overstimulating for someone living with cognitive decline, and taking care of turning on and off the lights, watering the poinsettias, and other chores can simply be too much for someone who has less energy than before.
As you keep the decor minimal, choose to intentionally highlight favorite items and keep things cozy:
- Consider putting favorite family heirloom ornaments in a clear bowl on the coffee table
- Use flameless candles that are on timers instead of ones that need to be lit and extinguished daily
- Keep favorite place settings, but bring out only a few plates or bowls and display them on the counter all season long for a homemade (or store bought) baked goods
- Try plug in scents with cinnamon and clove
- Consider a smaller tree
- Ensure anything that is plugged in does not create a fall risk
- Don’t forget a festive wreath on the door
Keep the Menu Accessible for Everyone
If you’re planning Thanksgiving or other holiday feasts with your loved one, be sure the menu includes items they can eat safely. If possible, work to have options for your loved one’s plate that are tasty and traditional. For example, if your loved one needs to watch their sugar intake, make sure there are plenty of lower-sugar options on the dessert table. For seniors who need to eat softer foods, keep a meat grinder in the kitchen to quickly grind their turkey and ensure there are plenty of mashed potatoes and other options.
When possible, make your loved one’s plate so that it looks delicious and tantalizing. This can be better than having them walk through the buffet and trying to explain why they shouldn’t have certain foods. However, when it comes down to it, remember that a holiday feast happens just a few times per year, and it might be just fine for them to have that half slice of sugary pecan pie.
Make an Early Entrance and Quick Exit
If you’re bringing your loved one to a holiday gathering, remember that the large crowds and noise might be a little overstimulating for them. Your senior loved one might retreat to a quieter corner, become antsy and restless, or might be unable to keep up with conversations. Overstimulation can also result in a shorter attention span and fuse, which means your loved one might react strongly when your toddler grandson drops a plate on the floor by accident.
Keep things as calm as possible for your loved one by trying to arrive a bit early to the festivities so they can ease into the environment. Ask your sister if you can stop by with your mom 30 minutes before the party. You can help her set up, and your mom can sit at the table to fold napkins, chat with you and your sister, or have a cup of coffee before the party gets in full swing.
It’s also important to remember that you can always make an early exit as well, taking your loved one home when they start to show early signs of overstimulation. These signs might be becoming quieter, pacing, or seeming anxious or worried. Take this as a cue to have them tell everyone goodbye and sneak out with a plate they can enjoy at home. You can always get your loved one settled back at their house and return to the party, or you can retreat to your quiet home and relax in the peace and quiet as well.
Pack for Those “Just In Case” Moments
If you’re taking your loved one out to enjoy a ride around the neighborhood to look at the lights, to a pumpkin pie baking lesson at the senior center, or a cookie exchange at your brother’s house, be sure you have a bag packed with some essentials. Keep these items in a special bag that you can grab as needed:
- Any medications they may need
- A bottle of water
- A change of clothes
- Incontinence products, if needed
- A deck of cards
- A small photo album (this is a great to pull out when they are feeling anxious, overwhelmed, or are waiting long)
- Current list of medications and physician contact information
Before you head out the door, make sure your loved one is also wearing their charged medical alert device. Anything can happen while you are out and about, including a fall or an emergency. Their device will get help quickly and efficiently.
Spread Out the Festive Events
Your family might spend 6 hours together for a huge Christmas Eve dinner, or your Thanksgiving meal might last all day long. However, your loved one might not be up for all that celebrating at once. Consider making smaller events that highlight favorite traditions as a way for your loved one to get involved, but also not feel bad about leaving early from the bigger events.
- Host a cookie decorating party where the cookies are already baked and all that is left for the small group to do is ice them and decorate with sprinkles or candy
- Make hot chocolate and head out to look at neighborhood lights with a festive car ride. Don’t forget the holiday music.
- Host a gift wrapping party where everyone brings paper, bows, and tags. Everyone can help your loved one wrap their gifts before moving on to their own.
- Watch a favorite holiday movie with popcorn and twinkle lights to set the mood.
- Have a holiday card mailing party where everyone brings their stack of cards and address book. Chat and listen to favorite music while you get the cards addressed and stamped for your loved one.
A Downsized Celebration Doesn’t Make It Less Special
Keep this mantra with you as you plan this year’s holiday events with your loved one. If you find that this year looks differently than last year, let us assure you that the size of the celebration doesn’t make it important or special. Instead, focus on staying present with the people in the room and seeing the beauty in the celebration while still holding space for the grief you might feel. Feeling two competing feelings in common, especially during the holiday season.
Wishing you and your loved ones a meaningful holiday season, no matter how complex or different it might seem.
