Video Transcript
[0:00] Welcome to Caregiver SOS by Bay Alarm Medical. My name is Haley Burress. I’m a caregiving expert here to talk about the ugly side of caregiving that no one talks about — the most frustrating and challenging parts of caring for an aging family member, and how to get through it.
[0:15] Here’s our question. “I’m a caregiver for my mom. I’m happy to be able to help her out, but I’ve realized that caregiving makes me feel guilty. I feel guilty if I miss a phone call from my daughter in college because I’m helping my mom take a shower. I feel guilty if I can’t attend book club because I’m too exhausted and just want to go to bed early. I feel guilty if I can’t take mom to her doctor appointment because I have an important work meeting. Is guilt just part of caregiving, or is there a way to let it go?”
[0:50] Guilt makes us feel like we are never enough, no matter how much we do. And guilt isn’t just for family caregivers — it’s for parents, co-workers, and friends. I know I have wrestled with guilt so much during different seasons of my personal and professional life.
[1:10] And here’s what I’ve learned. Guilt will come and go, but I don’t have to believe the lie it tells me that I’m not doing enough or I’m not good enough. You don’t have to believe that lie either.
[1:25] Now, I just notice the feeling of guilt and I wait for it to pass. I remind myself I’m doing my best.
[1:32] Other ways to cope with guilt include asking for help and talking about your feelings with friends. Being honest about why you’re not attending book club can feel liberating, and it tells your friends that you might need a little extra TLC.
[1:48] Understand that you can’t juggle every role in your life perfectly at all times. Sometimes you’re a great daughter. Other times you’re a great mom. Sometimes you’re a great friend, and other times you’re a great partner. You can do it all — just not all at once.
[2:05] Like and subscribe for more caregiving advice.
