Video Transcript
[0:00] Welcome to Caregiver SOS by Bay Alarm Medical. My name is Haley Burress. I’m a caregiving expert here to talk about the ugly side of caregiving that no one talks about — the most frustrating and challenging parts of caring for an aging family member, and how to get through it.
[0:15] Let’s talk about denial today. Here’s the question. “My dad is struggling with urinary incontinence. Everyone can tell that he’s having accidents and trying to hide it. His house smells terrible and so do his clothes, his shoes, and even his car. We’ve tried bringing it up to him gently and not so gently, and he denies there’s a problem whatsoever. What do we do?”
[0:44] Urinary incontinence is somewhat common among older adults — about 50% of seniors experience it either sporadically or chronically. It can be embarrassing for the senior, and your dad is likely hiding it and denying it because he’s trying to preserve his dignity.
[1:00] This doesn’t mean he doesn’t need some help, though. Incontinence can lead to serious consequences like skin breakdown, infections, and other problems if he continues to try to manage it on his own unsuccessfully.
[1:15] Your best bet is working with your dad’s physician. Give the doctor a heads up about your observations and concerns when your dad is not in the room — call ahead of time. Then when the doctor brings it up to your dad, make sure you aren’t in the room either. This can help take away some of the embarrassment and feelings of vulnerability.
[1:41] You can leave incontinence products in his bathroom, including barrier cream. You can also wash his clothes more often and leave air freshening products in his car and home.
[1:52] Remember, denial is often a coping mechanism rooted in grief. Be gentle and patient as your dad comes around.
[2:00] Like and subscribe for more caregiving advice.
