When you are caring for an aging loved one in any capacity, you are vulnerable to experiencing caregiver burnout. The stress that comes from caregiving can lead to a variety of physical and mental health symptoms, including a decreased immune system response, sleep disruptions, anxiety, and depression. If you are a family caregiver and you are feeling “off,” how can you determine if it’s just a result of a stressful season or depression?
Unfortunately, caregiving can cause both stress and depression. To make matters more complicated, stress and depression can share similar traits such as sleeplessness, restlessness, nervousness, and difficulty concentrating. However, you can determine if your feelings have crossed over to depression by evaluating a few metrics.
What Are Your Symptoms?
Before you can determine if you are experiencing stress or depression, you must be able to understand how you are feeling. You know you’re feeling differently, but maybe you can’t put your finger on the symptoms you could tell a medical practitioner. That’s okay. Take a few moments to write down your response:
- How are you sleeping at night? Are you able to fall asleep easily? Are you able to stay asleep throughout the night?
- Are you napping more throughout the day?
- Are you exhausted after coming home from work more than usual?
- How are you eating? Do you have the motivation to prepare healthy meals daily? Are you eating enough healthy foods throughout the week? Are you drinking water?
- Are you turning to unhealthy coping skills more than usual, such as drinking or using drugs?
- How is your hygiene? Are you taking care of yourself, including taking regular showers, washing your hair, and getting dressed in clean clothes each day?
- Are you noticing mood swings that are difficult to keep in check? Are you feeling more angry or resentful than usual? Are you lashing out at family members, friends, coworkers, etc., more than usual?
If you are noticing that you simply do not have the motivation or will to get up and out of bed in the morning, you could be experiencing depression. Stress can cause sleep disruptions or changes in diet and mood. However, depression often brings with it a sense of heaviness that makes personal care tasks seem daunting. If you’re struggling to take care of daily showers and laundry, it is time to meet with a mental health professional for a depression screening and support plan.
How Long Have You Felt This Way?
Caregiver stress can last as long as the caregiving role is needed. However, in general, caregiving stress typically lasts for a shorter duration than depression. There are certain habits you can incorporate into your routine that can ease stress, but these habits will not cure depression (you need a treatment plan that includes personalized interventions such as medications and psychotherapy for that).
If you aren’t sure how long you’ve been exhibiting signs of caregiver stress or depression, turn to your partner, loved one, or friend that you trust. Chances are, they have noticed your symptoms and can help you put a timeline together so you can share it with a medical professional.
Are Your Symptoms Affecting Your Daily Life and Relationships?
When an older adult begins to experience forgetfulness, family members worry that it could be dementia. However, when they go online to see the warning signs of cognitive decline, they will see a question that sets apart forgetfulness from dementia: Does it affect daily life?
You can take this question with you as you evaluate if you are experiencing caregiver stress or depression. Are your symptoms affecting your daily life and your relationships? While caregiver stress does affect parts of your day, if you notice your mood is affecting daily life, it is likely depression.
Here are a few examples:
- You have started to skip going to your child’s volleyball games because you are too exhausted after work to get off the couch
- Your friends have stopped calling you to check in because you have yelled at them on more than one occasion
- You no longer go for your morning run because you are exhausted from not eating well each day
- You have stopped going to activities with your friends and family that you normally enjoyed and looked forward to
- Your partner has expressed concern because you have started to drink two glasses of wine each evening in order to fall asleep
When To Seek Professional Help
No matter if you are experiencing caregiver stress or depression, you could use a little extra help and support. It’s never too early to set an appointment with your primary care physician to talk about your role as a family caregiver. They can often provide local resources that could offer you respite from your to-do list so that you can make time to care for yourself and practice good coping skills.
While you are in your appointment, speak candidly about how you are feeling. Talk about the list of symptoms and observations you and others have noticed, and don’t be afraid to ask for help. A depression screening can be a valuable tool and is the first step in determining the next steps to help you find the relief you deserve.
No matter if you walk away with a diagnosis of depression or not, you are obviously not feeling as good as you once did. Now is a great time to begin to ask for help from others with your caregiving tasks, create a plan for scaling back, schedule respite care for your loved one, and re-evaluate your current responsibilities. You cannot care for others when you are sick, stressed, and mentally unwell. Get the support and help you need sooner rather than later.
